Requiem for a dream - or how to fry your brains in three simple steps

I don't have the slightest clue how to start this and I'm afraid that I'll end up ranting the whole time. Requiem for a dream is the kind of movie that leaves you a bitter taste when you're done watching it. One of the geniuses behind this masterpiece is Darren Aronofsky, the movie director and the same person that gave us Pi, another personal favorite. Why did I say another? Take a wild guess.

Now, I'm going to ask - not necessarily you - what's the difference between a speed junkie and someone addicted to food, TV, tabloids, you name it? What if there comes a moment when you can't distinguish what's real and what's an illusion because of your excessive hobby? I know it's a bit disturbing to picture someone massively hallucinating from reading too many pop magazines, but that was not the point. The point is that our sickened society hit a new milestone with its hypocrisy, becoming unable to make the difference between heroin addicts and TV potatoes. What's the connection with the present movie, you might wonder? Well, the main idea that Aronofsky (successfully) pictures is that there's no practical difference between ANY kind of addiction, be it crystal meth, junk food, or idiotic TV shows.

Take a normal teen, right? Like any teen, he experiments. In some cases, he can even make a passion out of these little escapades. First some hash, then a little bit of snow, some speed now and then and he ends up with his own thing in no time! Mix up a good pal to help with business and an adorable girl with similar ambitions as our guy and the result is perfect. Did I mention the over-protective maa'? But aiming too high isn't good for business, neither for personal health. Can I be less specific than this? No? Ok.To sum up the whole plot, this movie presents the lives of a junkie teen and his maa', starting from a point where things seem to be alright, if not fine, and ending up at a point where they are unrecognizable. Did I mention that the old's lady is a TV junkie?

I don't know much about filming techniques, but I guess the best people gathered and formed the best filming crew ever, for this movie. For example, take the simple 1-2-3 technique. Integrated like it is in this movie, it makes wonders and takes the immersion to a whole new level. And the whole movie is built like this, which surprisingly doesn't make it boring one second. Add a marvelous soundtrack (including Clint Mansell's godlike Requiem for a dream, made special for this movie I think) and you have an equally astounding, exceptional and haunting movie.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this is the kind of art that makes you think about certain things. Like a lot. If you don't decide to watch it after reading this - and my purpose wasn't to make you see it, really - at least consider this: would you rather end up with an infected arm or enchained to an asylum bed?

P.S.: If you don't think the excess of TV crappy shows can be a menace, try to picture yourself taking so-called diet pills to get slim enough in order to fit again in her 20-years-old red dress. To be part of a show. A TV show. AND THE FRIDGE FUCKING TRIES TO EAT YOU. Not kidding, watch and see.

Un Prophete, or how to say "Screw you and your mother" in Arabian

So I've been watching lots of movies lately. And I mean lots. While some of them made me take a short trip to the bathroom and puke all over the sink, others had a calming effect on me - such as The Human Centipede. Yea, I'm sick. But that's another story. Here, I'm going to say a few words about Un Prophete, a movie that incorporates all the good things from Prison Break into a 155-minute stinky piece of art. Because prison bathrooms are stinky. Got it? Oh, screw you and your sense of humor! I have good jokes too!

Now, a short synopsis. So there's this half-arabian-half-french guy, right? For some reason, the director decides not to tell us why he got into prison and he just makes subtle references to it, which is a great thing in my opinion. People aren't potatoes, they should use their brain cells. Aaanyway, this El-Something-Something Arab has spent half of his 19 years of life in juvenile detention, this being the first time when he does time in a real prison. He has no friends whatsoever, so the only thing he can do is stay out of trouble for as long as possible until he serves his 6 years of detention. Good plan, huh? With no future prospects, this scum (for I had no fucking reason to admire or resonate with his fucking lazy Arabian ass) drains his hopes from, umm... he doesn't have any future plans, I'm afraid. But here comes to good twist! Know that prison cliche saying that if you drop the soap in a prison shower you end up with a 12 inch long... oh forget it, I think you already know it. For some reason, some of you may have already experienced it. Deliberately. AAANYWAY. So there's another Arabian guy in the shower and he feels a bit lonely. With only two weeks to serve in that rathole, guess what? He proposes to this El-Something-Something to blow him for some hash. A respectful gentleman with such high standards like our guy proptly denies. But that guy who wanted his daily blowjob happens to be a very dangerous person for the inner mobs, willing to testify against some gangster friends of theirs. Or whatever. So the mob (because there HAS to be a mafia mob with guard influences in every prison) tries to co-opt this El-Smth-Smth guy to kill his new friend. Or else. The story is much more complicated and I don't want to give you knuckle heads more spoilers than I've already given.

There are a few flaws to be expected, though. Even if this is not an agregate for the biggest cliches in the movie history, it gets its part of glory. For example, the mafia thing. Why the fuck does a motherfucking mafia mob has to be in every prison? And what the fuck is he doing there, since he has such a big influence on the guards that he can even make them beat the crap out of the Muslims? Oh, I almost forgot. Like in every prison, there are two "teams", in this case the Muslims and the Corsicans. What a surprise, huh?

But, overall, this is an exceptional movie for a boring Monday evening. And nothing more. Ok, it may be ten thousand classes over most of the prison movies from the last decade. Also, I've seen lots of dumbfucks who, for some misterious reason, can generate enough money to pay for their Internet connection, saying that "Fuck you and your fucking piece of shit, Audiard! This movies is not realistic! Herp, derp, look at me forcing a fart on the Internet. Damn, that was shit." Well, dear obscure morron from the Interwebs, I have nothing to say to you other that "Blow me." There is no such thing as a realistic movie. No one has to serve time in a rathole in order to correctly evaluate the realismm from a prison movie. Period. That thing you morrons visualize but can't explain with your nut brains is called plausibility. Say with me: PLAUSIBILITY. 



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Note: I will not give any scores to the movies I try to review here. I fucking hate review scores, not necessarily because they can't rate a movie well enough, but because of the dumbshits that skip the article and read the score only, then come to the comment section and shout "HURR DURR THAT MOVIE DESERVED AN 8, NOT A 6." You, little retard, have nothing to do with movies or with anything else from this planet. Please PM me your address so I can deliver you 10 feet of strong rope, free of charge. Thank you.

Hello, Movie World!

I just want to say "Hello"! I know, I'm such a cliche.

Although there are hundreds of people out there blogging about movies and TV, my lack of expression pushed me to start my own one. No matter if you're a diehard movie fan, a severe critic, or just a regular person who likes watching a movie from time to time, I believe you'll be able to find something to interest you here. Once again, this is such a cliche... The whole blog is a cliche!

I'll stop by saying this: I'm not a movie critic, nor a professional writer! If you'll find any flaws in my articles, the one and only thing to blame is my lack of talent. Hopefully, throughout the time I'll write here, I'll slip a note of professionalism and competence along the words. Have fun reading and keep the feedback coming.